$$
🌵👽sorry👽 🌵

vivacosima:

cat: places paw tentatively on boob
me: please–
cat: presses paw down on boob
me: don’t–
cat: slowly, agonizingly walks across boobs

sassykardashian:

*secretly having a mental breakdown because nothing is going right and all motivation is lost* :)

daddyfuckedme:

October is sad

slayer-slayer-slayer:

krisperson:

The skeleton war was not kind

free him
  • me: *is a lil lonely*

Anonymous said: This is gonna sound so stupid but what is a fuckboy? lol

rememberingsuunday:

fuckboy symptoms:

  • timothy over here askin’ for nudes when all u did was say hello
  • connor who won’t calm down with his axe spray tryna infect ya lungs
  • colin adding #420 to his bio when he smoked weed one time
  • gregory mad cause u didn’t blow him after the first date

how to spot a fuckboy:

  • white nike tube socks with his adidas sandals
  • he wants to play 20 questions (!!!!!!!!! do not play !!!!!!!!!!! especially if there’s a “;)” involved)
  • relies on his mom but doesn’t respect women
  • looks like he just read one of jaden smith’s tweets in all of his selfies
  • can’t find the clitoris

fuckboys come in all shapes and sizes and results may vary but when he a fuckboy…he a fuckboy…and u will know

  • me: *on my phone*
  • grandma: do you ever put that thing down?
  • me: *puts phone down*
  • me: why did you ruin the economy?

spring2000:

me: *puts one hand on my hip*
everyone: omg are you a model??

kingofcreppyisland:

Bae: Come over I’m horny ;)

Me: I can’t I’m murdering two teeange lovers in a clown suit

Bae: My parents are out

Me:

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